We hope that you enjoyed our post on 5 Things You Need to Know For a Happy Marriage where we shared some tips to stay happy before, during, and after the wedding by communicating using the love language of your partner.

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In the second part of this series, we hope to help take the guess work out of the relationship equation by getting the men to speak up! Today we’re sharing some of the gems we uncovered when we talked to our menfolk about love, relationships and marriage.

Contributions From The Men To Women:

1. Give Him Space

Yes this is cliché, but here’s a realistic take on it. It is no secret that men can’t multi-task. Sample scenario: when he is doing something: reading the papers, thinking about something, surfing or typing on the computer, we go and talk to him about something. After we finish, he turns over and says, “huh?’ or “what did you just say?”.

The blood boils and we spit it out angrily “why are you not listening?” or “you mean you were not listening to what I was saying the whole time?

Cut him some slack. After all, it is not his fault we’re blessed with the ability to multi-task.

Just like we need our girls’ time, don’t intrude on his “me” time. While he might not necessarily be out with the guys, the old saying ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ still holds true.

2. Maintain The Suspense

Yes, the men mean it in the physically way. Even though you both live with each other after the marriage day in and day out, maintain a little visual suspense, which will evoke a sense of curiosity. Don’t leave it all out there just because you are getting too comfortable. You know what they mean *wink wink*.

3. Don’t Bring Up The Past

Some men mind, some don’t. But as women are typically more emotional, sometimes bringing the past up hurts us more than it hurts him.

4. Take A Step Back (To Have Your Way)

Many men are actually very willing to give in. During arguments, instead of just plain insisting on your stand without getting anywhere but into a deadlock, consider just taking a step back, albeit a small one.

Looking tough on the outside, many of them are softies at heart when it comes to the women they love. Even if we are obviously in the wrong or may have a weak stand, many of them are willing to let go and move on as long as we take a little step in the right direction.

5. Support Will Be Appreciated

Even when there are times where men are obviously wrong, please don’t righteously tear them apart with those words “I TOLD YOU SO.” It is annoying not only on its own, but also because there is no right way to reply without sounding defensive.

We are all doing our best to prove ourselves and to make our big break. Support each other and walk hand-in-hand on the journey towards success. Don’t we all want to proudly see our spouses do well?

Tips From Men To Men:

1. Cut The Urge To Give Solutions

Yes, you have heard it before. When women need to talk about something, they are not looking for solutions but more of a listening ear. (Note to men: If women are looking for solutions, they will ask you). Just encourage her to talk and listen to understand, and show empathy.

2. Romance Can’t Be Bought

Romance is not about buying the flashiest bag or dining at the fanciest restaurant. Don’t you just hate the three-month rule for buying the engagement ring? Just think about it this way: what else would you give a woman who already has it all to make her feel loved?

It is usually the thought that women truly appreciate. Say a man buys his wife a Chanel bag that she has been eyeing for over a year but couldn’t bear to buy. Surely she is overjoyed at being able to own the bag. But more so because he paid attention to what she really wants and likes, and did something with the intention to make his wife happy.

Another example would be leaving a note unexpectedly in her wallet telling her that you love her; checking in on her via text in the middle of the day to tell her that you miss her; complimenting her on how beautiful she looks in the dress.

While big surprises bring much delight, women will still appreciate the thoughtful little gestures.

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_{This post was first published on La Belle Couture blog and has been reposted on Executive Lifestyle with the permission of the author.}

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