Self-Determination: The process by which a person controls his or her own life.

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Self-Development: The process by which a person’s character or abilities are gradually developed.

Both self-determination and self-development require a person to be free and willing to make their own decisions. For most of us, self-development is a constant pursuit – but what we lack is self-determination to make real changes.

If you want to learn how to become a better person, you have to have a measure of self-determination.

Let’s take a closer look at what self-determination involves, and its role in continuous and long-lasting self-development.

What Is Self-Determination

Put simply, self-determination allows you to make the changes you need to live a full and happy life. Even in relationships, this quality can be lessened, causing you to lack the skills you need to develop into the person you want to be.

In reality, this quality represents your ability to make choices and decisions on your own accord, to exercise control over yourself, and to set goals that develop your skills into greater versions of what they are currently. Being able to direct the course of your own life is your birth-right, but if you don’t take advantage of it and instead choose to blame life circumstances for why you’re where you are, you short-change yourself.

Why Self-Determination Is Important

When it comes to self-development, you have to recognize that you and only you have the power to change where you are in your life.

No matter how many times we want to blame our parents, our ex, or our job for the way we are, the truth remains — we’re responsible for our lives.

In fact, accepting responsibility for who we are now is the key to advancing our lives. If you can’t be honest with yourself, you can’t be successful.

Taking stock of where you are in this moment is powerful. You’re facing your own truth when you do it. You’re saying, “Yes, I am willing to look at my life with an open mind and face what’s there.” This is in stark contrast with ignoring the pain and moving about in life unconsciously.

Additionally, self-determination is the path that leads to true self-development. After all, if you don’t know where you stand you can’t take the steps you need to advance your life.

Why Self-Development Requires It

As a lifelong process, self-development requires constant check-ins with where we are in life. If we aren’t willing to take a stand for our lives and see where we are failing and succeeding, we’ll never get past the most basic issues we face.

Self-development, in most instances, requires you to actively improve your skills and reassess your understanding of the world around you. The primary way you do this is by accepting responsibility for yourself. Instead of looking for excuses, self-development teaches us to look for ways to get it done or to improve who we are.

Over the course of our lives, self-development asks us to:

• Focus on where we are today — since that’s all we can control
• Learn from past experiences, but don’t live in them
• Analyze what we really want and then take steps towards it
• Ask questions and listen intently to the response we receive
• Move past unproductive habits and develop new habits in their place

Without self-determination, we can do none of the above.

What To Do When Someone Holds You Back

Self-determination is typically held back by our own personal insecurities and beliefs, but in some cases, others can stifle our growth. This most often occurs in personal relationships; however, it can also happen at our job.

If you find yourself in a situation that inhibits your self-determination you have two choices a) Learn how to deal with the person and push past their ignorance, or b) Remove them from your life.

Should the person holding you back be a spouse or partner, you may want to consider eliminating them from your life altogether. If that isn’t something you want to do, evaluate how they are holding you back. You may end up discovering that you’re using them as a crutch for what you aren’t doing.

In the workplace, if you find managers and executives are refusing to give you a promotion (which in turn affects your ability to make decisions for your life) you may want to examine why that’s happening. Are you truly doing everything you can to earn a new position? If you are, then it may be time to visit with the HR department. If that doesn’t work, begin looking for a new role. Life is too short to rely on someone else to improve your life.

How To Improve Your Life

If you want to learn how to become a better person, there are countless steps you can take. The first being: hiring a coach to help you. Positive influences are the ticket towards motivation, and for self-development, motivation couldn’t be more important.

Whether you want to become the first female CEO of the company you work for, or if you want to improve your social life, your awareness of your own self-determination lays the groundwork for a better future.

Tell me about where you are on your path to self-development. What role has self-determination played in your journey?

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