I’m writing this from my hotel room in Hong Kong, blown away by how different my life looks today. I am looking at the possibility of sharing my work with an entire generation of young leaders, all of whom are ready and excited to change the world. I’m travelling to Tanzania soon to spread my message of female empowerment to the women there.

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Things are so different to how they were years ago. Yet, in some strange way, I am not surprised. I know all this happening is not an accident. See, when I vowed to pick up the pieces of my broken life, I told myself that I was done living life by “default”. I was also done “outsourcing” my happiness to someone else, hoping they would make me happy then blaming them when things didn’t go well.

In essence, I was done being a victim. I would fully participate in my life and create the things I wanted instead of hoping, praying, and wishing they would fall into my life.

I took these 5 simple steps:

Step 1

I had to entertain question #1: What do I want?

This was difficult for me to answer because I was so used to NOT making choices. I didn’t know what I wanted.The best answer I found was, funnily enough, another question: What kind of person do I want to become?

The answer to that was “an empowered woman who could share her gifts and talents with people, helping them live equally free and strong lives”. That helped me clarify the kind of life I wanted, and I was exceptionally clear about the life I wanted. I wanted a life where I was happy, felt loved and respected in a relationship, enjoyed the chance to travel and spread my message to audiences all over the world, and had time (and freedom) to spend with my family.

I planted images of me enjoying this life in my mind.



Step 2

The next step was to build the self-belief that this could come true for me. I read up on the possibility of life creation, and how people took themselves from failure to success. I wanted to install into my mind the possibility of change - that it was possible, and it was possible for me.

Step 3

The third step was to design a roadmap for how to create and manifest this change. I started first with the goals, dreams and visions I had in mind... then worked backwards to see what first steps I could take right now. It was all about breaking things down into bite-sized pieces, so I could take action immediately. Every step of designing this plan gave me more confidence. I saw that the difference between where I was and where I wanted to be was all a series of steps.

It wasn't a miracle I needed. It was simple steps I needed to take to get to where I wanted to be. I could do this.

Step 4

Finally, I had to account for potential roadblocks and obstacles. What if something popped up? How would I deal with it? Taking care of this crucial step meant that my plan wasn't a static, fragile piece of china. It was dynamic and adaptable.

This strengthened my belief that it would succeed.

Step 5

And to kick-start my deliberate life design, I took my first step. Was it scary? You bet. But I was ready. I had a vision in mind, I had a plan, I had strong self-belief, and I knew that whatever happened, I could adjust and adapt.

Fast forward to today; my plan has taken shape and become my reality. That is no accident. Along the way, I had detours and roadblocks in my path... but my belief never wavered. Every time something cropped up, I adjusted and adapted.

Life change is possible... if you deliberately design it.

Let me recap:

1. Decide clearly what you want. I'm talking crystal clear here, with no "ifs" or "buts"
2. Believe that it is possible for you
3. Design a roadmap to make it happen
4. Deal with potential obstacles
5. Take the first step

I would love to hear from you!

Visit Yana Fry Coaching page to find out more about Yana's work.

_{This post was first published on Yana Fry blog and has been reposted on Executive Lifestyle with the permission of the author.
Edited by Nedda Chaplin}

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