I believe that peer circles can be extremely powerful for women – small groups coming together regularly to talk, share, problem solve, and learn around a specific topic.

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While there is a terribly patriarchal myth that wants us to believe that women are ‘catty’ towards each other, I believe that women are naturally powerful, compassionate, and supportive as a group.

My first experience in an enriching adult peer circle was most likely the mummy-baby groups that I attended weekly after I had my first child, some years ago. I was sleep-deprived and confused, and those groups helped support me. We shared information and challenges over cups of tea, and in those early motherhood months a bond formed where anything and everything could be discussed.

A few years on and I was thinking about starting my own business in Singapore, but was feeling alone and insecure. I responded to a long Facebook thread of other women feeling the same, and together we formed an informal monthly peer circle. We talked about our business ideas, our challenges, and brainstormed as a group on ways to help. For me, the simple fact of saying my goal out loud was extremely helpful. I felt more focused and supported after each of our meetings.

Peer circles can take many forms, from formal, coach-facilitated groups to writing groups. Lean-In Circles, started by Sheryl Sandberg and her book, Lean In, are a wonderful example of the strength of peer circles. With more than 28,000 circles in 141 countries, they have provided a wonderful structure for women to go forth and start their own circle. At my co-working space, Woolf Works, we have a very successful members group, and a recently launched public group. Both meet monthly.

The power of peer circles was what I had in mind when I launched Catalyst, our twelve-week program helping women return to the workplace after an extended career break. We alternate a fortnightly peer circle with small group workshops and so blend the best of peer circle support with enriching and confidence-building content.

What is it that makes peer circles so very powerful?

Accountability

At Woolf Works, we have also recently started a circle of writers that is very specifically focused on accountability, instead of being craft or peer-review focused. Accountability means having other people hold you accountable to your values, goals, and vision. We have come together as a group to set some big lofty goals to strive for, and also smaller, three-week goals, to be reminded of and pushed towards. We talk through tools and techniques to help us get to those short term goals and explore our own barriers to success. We do the same in our Members Lean-In Circle, and we all take pride in the progress we can see towards our big lofty goals.

Talking Things Through

When an idea or a challenge is not fully formed in your head, it can be really helpful to have a safe place to talk it through. To be questioned non-judgementally, to get feedback in real time, and to hear that others have felt the same way you have – all those things helped me to crystallise what my business idea would be become.

A Place To Celebrate

Celebrating little successes is another powerful part of peer circle success. There’s nothing like sharing great news with a group of women who have had your back for months and have been rooting for you. These small celebrations are great positive reinforcements to keep you enjoying the journey. They give you energy and, by recognising your own good work, you build your own confidence and self esteem.

The Power Of The Network

I am always amazed what kind of connections we can make in our peer circles. We’ll have one person really needing to connect to the F&B Manager at a hotel downtown and the woman next door will say, ‘Oh, my neighbour is the Catering Manager, let me talk to him for you.’ You never know who other people know unless you put it out there, specifically, the connections you are looking for. And the combined network of 6 or 10 women together is very powerful.

Authentic Connections

When we narrow our business conversations to formal networking events, we limit our chances to make really authentic connections with other people. I find that women come into a peer circle very open and ready to share. The conversations are heartfelt. In these times of instant communication and video calls, these enriching, face to face conversations feel very nourishing and real. There is a lot to learn from these authentic connections both as a speaker and a listener.

So what do you do if you want to be part of a peer circle?

Go to leaning.org to see if there are already Lean-In Circles in your hometown. Look for other listing site – for example meetup.com is quite popular in Singapore. Look at coworking spaces, like Woolf Works – there maybe a peer circle focused on your industry already. The Athena Network, in Singapore, has a lunch time Executive Club meet up too. Alternatively, start your own!

Visit Woolf Works page to find out more about the Coworking space.