Today, I want to talk about confidentiality.

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I’ve been running my coaching practice for seven years and I am privileged to have been invited to speak at medical events in Singapore, Malaysia, Brisbane and Perth on numerous occasions. Many of you will know I have been the sex expert for Men’s Health Singapore (since 2009) and also for Men’s Health Malaysia (since 2010). Over the years, I’ve had countless members of the media ask me to provide case studies of clients. I have refused them all (and, of course, this has affected the amount of media coverage I get).

In the interest of self-disclosure, I admit I once asked my private coaching clients who had overcome their sexual issues, if they were willing to speak to the media about their sexual issues (the basis of which is that years had passed and they are now friends, not clients per se).

The media would tell me, “Oh, you don’t have to mention their names.” They want a story but do not get what confidentiality truly means.

Confidentiality means that the case will not be repeated or discussed without explicit permission, even without a name. I see other professionals share their case studies and I cannot help but wonder if they are doing this to help others or just to help themselves get more publicity and more clients. And did they get explicit permission to share without a name?

To me, confidentiality means no telling. Period. It is non-negotiable because, ultimately, the safety and well-being of my clients mean the world to me. It’s about respecting their boundaries (something not every professional adheres to). It’s about being a good professional, and a decent human being.

What Does Confidentiality Mean To You?

When your friends tell you to keep a secret, can they trust that you won’t tell? When your beloved asks about your day at work, do you tell to get a load off your shoulders? When it comes to work documents, are they all confidential?

Besides practising confidentiality when it comes to my private clients, I also have a strict media policy when it comes to all of my workshops. Media members (including bloggers) are asked to declare their status and report only their own experience (never those of others), and other participants are given the option to leave if they are uncomfortable. You may have noticed that you have never seen me post any photographs of my own workshops. It is not an oversight. It’s deliberate. I never want anybody to be uncomfortable at any of my events.

You may not have met me. You may not know me personally yet, but I want you to know that the decisions I make (and continue to practice) when it comes to my work are the result of a lot of careful thought and consideration. My confidentiality policy hasn’t changed in seven years, and my media policy was implemented last year.

I Think About You A Lot More Than You Realise

In fact, I see my whole life as a dedication to my work. I know my clients would like me to give my all. And I want to give you my all each time, so why wouldn’t I take the best care of myself?

From my morning meditation practice and workout routine to my sleeping habits, I continuously commit to being the best version of who I can be, so that I can do the best work possible. Do not hesitate to sign up for one of my workshops or coaching sessions.

From 2017, I plan to travel a whole lot more. Don’t take your life or partner or yourself or me for granted. I decided to love and help you unconditionally before we met, but you need to help yourself, too.

Visit www.eroscoaching.com for more advice from sexuality and relationship expert Dr. Martha Lee

_{This post was first published on Eros Coaching Blog and has been reposted on Executive Lifestyle with the permission of the author.
Edited by Nedda Chaplin
Image credit: Close-up of psychiatrist hands together holding palm of her patient from  Shutterstock}

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