As 2015 drew to a close, I noticed that the people who are happiest with the past year are those who have been authentic.

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An object is authentic when it is of undisputed origin; not a copy; genuine. What, then, is an authentic person? Various definitions would summarise one as:

• Genuine
• Worthy of belief
• Trustworthy
• Transparent
• Having an unfiltered personality

When it comes to happiness with where we are on life’s journey, the most difficult person it is to be authentic with is our own self. We have become talented at allowing fear, laziness, past failures, and/or ambiguity to rationalise away many a dream and ambition. We will spend much energy convincing ourselves that the chosen path is the best one for us.

However, when we overcome all those excuses and have an authentic conversation with ourselves, it may become clear that, actually, we are downright unhappy about where we are. But hey, at least we are now authentic, and this could be argued to be more valuable.

I had several end-of-year conversations with people who had outlived their vocations. Yes, vocations. At one point in their lives, they were living their truth, that which made them happy because it was their calling. But we evolve, our interests take new directions, and suddenly we realise that what had been a vague feeling of “something’s not quite right any more”, becomes a crystal-clear knowing that “this is not what I am meant to be doing”. The next step may be harder, because in pursuit of authenticity to self, we may need to quit our job.

For those who took courageous steps in either modifying their current work situation or quitting altogether, I say bravo, because their voices were the most joyful and liberated at the end of the year. Their future might have been the most uncertain, but they felt they were aligned on their paths again. They were living authentic lives. Let me extinguish any notions that these people had any financial luxury softening their decisions. They were risky, real leaps of faith into the unknown, involving sleepless nights and tears.

Here is a summary of the most important lessons picked up from them:

• Reveal the real you. Who? The one you’ve been suppressing but who is desperate to come out.

• Honour yourself in totality. Both strengths and weaknesses, light and dark.

• Erase thoughts of being judged. Quit worrying about who likes or accepts you.

• Liberate yourself from the notion of perfection. “I’d rather be honest and authentic and disappoint some people than to exhaust myself trying to keep up the façade of perfection.” Crystal Paine.

• Be whole, not perfect. “There’s no need to be perfect to inspire others. Let people get inspired by how you deal with your imperfections.” Ziad K. Abdelnour

• Be flexible in who you are and get comfortable with being fluid. Some parts of you rotate, like the seasons. Others are eradicated completely, to be replaced, temporarily or permanently by new traits.

Bonus points for the extra-brave ones:

• Get naked and write all your qualities (light and dark) all over your body.
• Do a “This Is Me” dance.
• Declare out loud who you are in this authentic expression of yourself.
• Shine!

Fast forward in your imaginations to the end of the year. 2016 is drawing to a close, and you are looking back on the year. Decide now how you want to feel at that moment. Do you want to relish the feeling that you have been true to yourself and manifested your authentic self? Yes? Well then, as Oscar Wilde said: “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”

Check out the inspirational images and quotes on my Pinterest page on Authenticity

Here are some articles for further reading:

http://life.gaiam.com/article/5-ways-live-authentic-life

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/07/29/genuine-people-traits-authenticity_n_5614238.html

http://www.openhandweb.org/what_being%20_authentic_means_what_gets_in_the_way

https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200804/dare-be-yourself

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mike-robbins/be-yourself-everyone-else_b_185923.html

Are you what you claim to be? Check out these authenticity tests:

http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/87

http://www.tc.umn.edu/~parkx032/AU-TEST.html

I am designing a 2016 Spring Bali Retreat. This retreat is for women by women. Let me know what an ideal retreat in Bali would be like for you below!

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