I picked my bridesmaids carefully and was I lucky to have friends who were up to the task of being a bridesmaid.

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However, I had a few uncomfortable experiences that almost pushed me to the edge of severing the friendship. Of course, I didn’t, but I cannot deny that it was tempting to dive into a catfight back then, especially when I was going through so much stress. But my nails were already manicured, so I thought it would be such a waste.

Kidding aside, I have learnt that it is important for bridesmaids to know how to behave and act. That’s why I am compelled to share a few boundaries that bridesmaids should never consider crossing.

Thou Shall Not Usurp The Bride’s Limelight

The truth is that every lady wants to look beautiful wherever they are. But bridesmaids need to understand that it is wholly the bride’s right to look beautiful. Any bridesmaid should be the first person to understand that concept!

If your bride has picked the bridesmaid dress and you feel that it doesn’t look that great, it is alright to comment on the choice, but do not fuss too much about it. She probably has a lot on her plate and the bridesmaid should be the last of her worries.

What if she gives you the freedom to choose your own bridesmaid dress? It is ideal to select something that suits the concept of the wedding, while avoiding to overshadow the bride’s wedding gown.

I don’t know about the bride, but what I feel (and I am sure 100% of the brides would agree) is that the bridesmaid should never look equally or more beautiful than the bride. If the bridesmaid looks like a bride, the line is crossed.

Thou Shall Be Supportive And Only Provide Constructive Feedback

It is normal for brides to have a few requests for her wedding and it may not be something that you as a bridesmaid would want to do. But here’s the catch – it isn’t your wedding and you should never impose any ideas to the bride. You can provide suggestions but, at the end of the day, the bride should always make the final decision.

For example, if the bride insists on wearing a certain design and you feel that it doesn’t compliment her, you can convey the message to her, but in a nice manner. Should she decide to go with that particular wedding gown, just be a supportive friend and be glad that she finally found something that makes her feel confident!

The bottom line is that brides don’t need to know that their ideas suck or fall short of any expectations. What matters is that she is happy and comfortable with the wedding, and all you have to do is fulfil that and not put her down at her most vulnerable moments under the immense stress!

Thou Shall Not Talk Behind The Bride’s Back

Sometimes the bride’s tantrums may get on your nerves and, as a bridesmaid, you cannot really escape it. As a bridesmaid, you should try your best to not talk behind her back or have a massive ranting session with another bridesmaid. You can share a little of your grouses with other bridesmaids or friends, but you have to understand that the bride is under tremendous pressure from the wedding. At the same time, you will be running the risk of ruining the friendship.

If you want to thrash things out, talk to the bride in private and share how her behaviour is affecting you. That way, she will understand your point of view and try her best to not step on your toes. This will help strengthen the friendship between the both of you. At the same time, planning the wedding will be a lot more enjoyable as you have a better understanding of each other’s mindsets.

Thou Shall Promise To Commit To Pre-Wedding Events

If you promised to be the bridesmaid, it means making a commitment to be at all of the pre-wedding events that come with planning a wedding. Being a bridesmaid is not just about choosing the bridesmaid dress, looking pretty next to the much more beautiful bride, and things like that. There’s more to that.

Don’t get me wrong; being a bridesmaid can be fun but it comes with commitment. As a bridesmaid, you have to go through the details of the wedding and how to work as a team to ensure that the wedding doesn’t fall apart. Planning the wedding is part of the job scope of a bridesmaid and you need to be aware of the latest updates and changes to the wedding. Otherwise, not only will you end up looking foolish, but you might ruin your bride’s wedding with the lack of understanding about the wedding.

And that’s irresponsible behaviour. So, if you find that you are unable to commit to the planning, then kindly inform your bride and spare her from another headache!

Thou Shall Not Go Too Crazy With The Gatecrashing

Gatecrashing is defined as a tradition in which the groom has to work his way to fetch his bride, along with his groomsmen. They have to complete difficult challenges and tasks. This ranges from wearing make-up, eating extremely spicy food, dancing in public, and much more. These tasks are usually designed by the bridesmaids.

Gatecrashing is a common tradition in weddings held in Singapore and it is exciting to witness grooms trying their best to see their brides! However, it is important to note that gatecrashing is not a game between Team Bride and Team Groom. Don’t go overboard with the games and leave the groom perspiring profusely under the sweltering heat. Just like the bride, he probably didn’t have enough sleep and it is extremely exhausting to keep up with games.

Although it is important for bridesmaids to act like one, it is important for brides to understand that being a bridesmaid is not that easy, either. Both parties have to act as a team and learn how to be appreciative of each other. That way, the wedding will turn out to be a beautiful and memorable one and there will, of course, be no catfights.

Visit La Belle Couture page to find out more about Peiru’s work.

_{This post was first published on La Belle Couture blog and has been reposted on Executive Lifestyle with the permission of the author. Image from La Belle Couture
Edited by Nedda Chaplin}

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