Several years ago, I was entering the small office of a big corporation to hand in my resignation due to an imminent family relocation.

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I had done it several times before, but this time if felt bittersweet. In a few years with this company, I had grown a lot and met extraordinary people, and I felt that the journey was still incomplete. A few months later, I was living in Malaysia. My family was properly settled, but I was still struggling to adjust. My feelings of inadequacy came as a complete surprise because I’m always very positive and I had relocated to Japan, the UK and Italy among other places – and I had always adjusted quite easily.

This time, I spent months focused on my former life, missing home and my friends and doing the number one thing you should never do when you face change: comparing the new with the old – whether it’s a house, a partner, a job or a country after handling changes.

Doing this led to an initial cycle of disengagement, yet it also became a blessing in disguise because it triggered a personal development journey and a search for purpose. Now, several years later, I am happily based in Singapore and crafting a creative career, and I can share some of the most powerful lessons that I’ve learned.

Lesson # 1: Learn More About Yourself And The Reasons Behind Your Choices

What are your strengths? What are your values? Are you doing something that makes you happy? Knowing the answers to these questions will help you make effective choices and will ultimately lead to a more fulfilling life. I’ve learned a lot about myself by working through some personality tests – from Gallup Strengths Finder 2.0 to Tony Robbins Disc – and I’ve found that it’s best to combine the results of a few different tests, many of which are available online free of charge.

Lesson # 2:Take 100% Responsibility For Everything That Happens To You

I’ve learned this valuable lesson by reading Jack Canfield’s The Success Principles. As hard as it may sound, especially when we feel we have no control over a situation or things don’t turn out the way we expect, it’s actually a very empowering and liberating principle. Taking responsibility for EVERYTHING puts us in a position of total control of our life, our career and our future. Doing this triggered my voluntary charity work and my studies in Malaysia, which, at the time, gave me a tremendous sense of empowerment.

Lesson # 3:Your Power Resides In The Present Moment

Time is the most precious thing that we have, and we must use it effectively. Luckily, I learned this lesson in good time – I stopped focusing on my former life and fully embraced my life in Malaysia.

Lesson # 4: Design A Career And A Life Plan

A change of country or career, or any other type of life change, even if painful and unexpected, can bring a lot of opportunities. In Malaysia, I started drafting a career and life plan. My plan covers several areas – including career, personal development and fitness – and has clear objectives and timelines that I review periodically. A plan helps us to stay on target during our journey and also to view and celebrate our achievements. It gives us a tremendous focus and the ability to design our life.

Lesson # 5: Be Kind

It takes time to handle and adjust to change. It takes time to show our full potential, to figure out new ways of doing things, to learn our full job scope and to meet new people. We are often very demanding with ourselves and want to adjust immediately. I’ve learned that we must give ourselves time to process changes, and be kind to ourselves and others in the process. The moment I started having fewer expectations and sitting back, I started embracing my new life in Malaysia and actually leaning in and moving forward.

Lesson # 6: Stay Connected

Ours is a world of infinite possibilities, and change is the most certain aspect of our lives. I always reach a major milestone in every one of my country moves and in every other change that I experience when I start getting fully connected to other people. When you meet people that inspire you, that help you, that celebrate with you, that teach you, that impact your life, everything gets easier. Give a little more to yourself and the world will certainly open up to you. I left Malaysia in tears, grateful for the tremendous friends and experiences that I was privileged to live. Now, in Singapore, I haven’t wasted any time focusing on my former life. I have a plan and Malaysia is just a short flight away.

^{Edited by Amber Valencia
Image credit: Shutterstock}

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