I’ve been a member of a business networking organisation for women since 2005, and I couldn’t have built my business without the support of an incredible network of women.  When I moved to Singapore with my family in late 2010 with no business contacts and very few social connections, I knew that networking was going to be a big part of establishing myself in our new home. I’m sharing you tips on how to succeed even if you hate business networking.

While there is always more to learn, I would consider myself a seasoned networker. Based on these years of experience, here are three common questions that people ask me about networking:

1. How much networking should I do?

The amount of networking, the type of networking events you attend and even the number of conversations you have at an event is much more about quality than quantity. There’s a big difference between being an effective networker and a prolific networker.

Networking effectively, not networking excessively, is the goal. Before you start networking, think about what you want to achieve both professionally and personally. Thinking strategically about your networking objectives will help make sure that the time you spend networking is worth the effort.

Finding the right place to network and making sure you are achieving the goals you have set for yourself is far more important than networking aimlessly without getting any results.

TIP: Treat networking like any other business activity – make sure you set clear goals, measure your results and evaluate your success.

2. How do I get over my fear of networking?

Different networking events will have a specific purpose and will attract a particular type of person. Understanding both what you need, and what you bring to the table, will help you feel more confident when looking for the right networking environment.

Think about dining experiences? Are you more comfortable in a fine dining restaurant or a lively sports bar. Just because you don’t like fine dining restaurants doesn’t mean you don’t enjoy good quality food? Just because you love a nice beer, doesn’t mean that you like rowdy pubs.

Like anything, our comfort or discomfort in any given situation is closely linked to the experience attached to it. Communities have distinct cultures and values, if you’ve tried a networking session and you didn’t enjoy it, it might just be because the format didn’t suit you. Or maybe your values and expectations didn’t align with the experience. Finding the right event can completely change the way you feel about networking.

TIP: If you think you don’t like networking, try a different type of event. You may be surprised at how fun and effortless it can be when you find the right environment.

3. How do I make sure that I find the connections I need?

A big networking mistake that people make is expecting to make first-hand contact with the clients they want to meet. Networking isn’t about coming face to face with your buyer at an event and getting the business there and then. Networking is about building relationships with people who understand the type of clients you are looking for, who see the value you can bring to those customers.

In essence networking is much more about creating collaborative partnerships than it is about getting direct sales for your business. The business benefits come later, as a result of the connections you make and the relationships you form. If you want to reach your dream client through networking, you need to build great relationships with people that already have their trust. When you have established your credibility, these partners may be willing to act as an introducer to vouch for you and your business.

Never underestimate the valuable connections of the people you come across in networking.

TIP: Focus on establishing your profile as an expert in your field, build trust with your fellow networkers by being consistent, and learn to communicate and showcase your value.

Networking is proven way to get more of the right clients, to build your confidence and meet like-minded people for collaboration. If you hate business networking, try these tips – maybe you just haven’t been doing it right!

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