To-Do Or Not To-Do – Letting Go Of Items On Your To-Do List And The Associated Guilt

To-Do Or Not To-Do – Letting Go Of Items On Your To-Do List And The Associated Guilt

No matter how well we plan our days, we all face those days when there is more on our to-do list than what we can manage or an unexpected event throws us off – whether it’s a boss or client having an urgent request, or a child being down with high fever who needs to be taken to the doctor.  So how can we handle those days without the stress building up and instead experience a sense of accomplishment?


I have observed that in such situations many people jump in so as not to waste time, and start randomly tackling their tasks. As the day progresses, they keep moving from one task to the other, unsure whether they have picked up the right one to start with, and as a result waste a lot of time going back and forth, and sometimes don’t complete any of their tasks for that day. Frustrating, isn’t it?

Well, I must confess I have been guilty of this behaviour until I realised it was completely unproductive. So I learned to spend the time needed upfront to re-evaluate my priorities and streamline my workload to make it realistic even on those challenging days. This approach has proved very helpful, and even more so when I started integrating time management expert Julie Morgenstern 4D’s concept.

The 4D’s concept gives you a comprehensive framework to examine your options on how to streamline your workload – basically Delete, Delay, Diminish or Delegate.  Let’s look into each one.

Can This Task Be DELETED?

Don’t assume that everything you put on your to-do list must be done. Sometimes we do things out of habit without re-evaluating whether they are still necessary, or just to make other people happy. Challenge yourself:

  • Does this task belong to the “must do” or “nice to do” category?
  • Which of my goals will this task help me achieve?
  • What’s the worst that would happen if I was not doing this task?

Deleting a task from your to-do doesn’t mean you are unprofessional or irresponsible. On the contrary, it means that you are going to create space for what’s really important in your life. It’s time to learn to say NO!

Can This Task Be DELAYED?

Let me reassure you, you’re not procrastinating here. It isn’t that you are putting off doing something out of carelessness or laziness but trying to reschedule a task to a more appropriate time based on your time constraints and priorities. So give yourself permission to postpone a task by one day or one week if it suits you better.

Can This Task Be DIMINISHED?

This can be done either by creating shortcuts such as automating or skipping altogether some steps of a process, or by reducing the deliverable itself. We too often tend to think they are only two ways to do things: either perfectly or poorly. But there are shades of grey in between. So on those days when your workload is too heavy, it may be a good occasion to put aside your standards for perfection and aim for an acceptable middle ground.

Can This Task Be DELEGATED?

Sometimes we don’t recognise there are people around us who can help us. We just assume that only we can do the job. But there are options if you look for them whether at work – being a team member, an intern or a personal assistant – or at home – being your spouse, your kids or an external service provider that can be engaged for cleaning or ironing.

Other times we worry that the person might not do as good of a job as we would. But isn’t there value in delegating if someone can do a job well enough while giving you the opportunity to focus on those tasks that require your knowledge or skills? Delegating is actually a good opportunity to develop your staff or get your children to pick up new skills.  Kill two birds with one stone!

Once you have gone through each of your tasks and appointments/meetings for the day and deleted/delayed/diminished or delegated some of them, re-evaluate whether you are in a position to manage your reduced workload. Otherwise go through other rounds until you reach a realistic workload.  One of the key success factors really will be for you to let go of the guilt. It certainly helps discuss these options with the people involved in your tasks. More often than not, they are on your side and want you to be successful for their own benefits too.

I highly encourage you to have a look at your schedule for today and see whether you could put the 4D’s concept into action. I am quite sure you can get immediate benefits. So have a go and let me know how it went!


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Nathalie Ricaud

Professional organiser Nathalie Ricaud helps women who feel overwhelmed by all their "stuff" learn to let go of things that are just stressing them out, and feel in control of their home and life again. She helps them establish systems to make sure they can find what they want when they need it, and maintain a clutter-free, organised and peaceful home. In addition to hands-on organising work, Nathalie is the author of a blog and is regularly published in print and online media. She’s also a regular speaker at events and conferences. Visit her website for more details.

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