We’re venturing into emotional territory this week. We’ll learn how to really accelerate our lives by resolving and overcoming past hurt.

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A hurtful past can take a toll on your life. I’ve been there before. It can consume your mind, body and spirit, preventing you from living the present moment fully and cause you to face the future with dread. Yet, it is impossible to run away or bury your head from the past. So, how can you overcome a hurtful past?

While there are many ways to process pain from the past, I personally favor the magic of writing. There is something very sacred in expressing your thoughts and feelings on a blank piece of paper. There are many different forms of writing, too. While journaling is an outstanding tool that can help you to become more present, grateful and clearer about your vision, I prefer “writing a letter” when it comes to processing hurtful experiences in the past.

Below is a guide to writing a letter to the people who’ve hurt you, to help you release the pain, anger and bitterness. In the letter address the following:

1. Who Is The Person Who Has Hurt You The Most?

You might have several names pop up in your head at the same time, yet it is important to be VERY specific and do this process step by step. Select one person. An experience you still remember very vividly. The stronger the emotions you feel about it, the greater will be your healing.

2. What Happened?

Next, narrate what happened in great detail. What did he/she do or say that hurt you? If there were multiple occasions you felt hurt by the same person, write about all the hurtful instances. Pour out every single detail and be completely honest.

3. Forgive That Person For Hurting You

Only by forgiving can you let the past be in the past. Forgiveness enables you to release all the anger, bitterness and hurt. It is your machine for offloading emotional baggage. Furthermore, even if you feel that the other person is undeserving of your forgiveness, do it for your sake. Make your statement of forgiveness. If you can, wish them well. Remember, each person does the best he/she can based on the experiences, circumstances and level of personal development.

4. Forgive Yourself For Hurting Yourself

This part is crucial. It is often called “a turnaround” and it is a common tool used in coaching and healing. What you feel towards other people is what you feel towards yourself, too. Even if you forgave other people but did not forgive yourself, you will not be able to move forward. Living with an enemy within will terrorize all your efforts to move forward. Let go of whatever role you may have played to cause hurt to yourself or others. Realize that even the best of us are flawed. Even so, you deserve forgiveness. Be compassionate with yourself and let it go.

5. What Has Changed Positively For You After The Incident?

Here, you can mention the lessons and values you gained from the hurtful ordeal. If you feel like there are none, write down all the good things that have happened in your life since the incident.

A hurtful incident does not mean it’s the end of you enjoying life. It is simply a lesson that needs to be learned to open a door of opportunity for something greater in your life. The best is yet to come, but you cannot see it or enjoy it under the veil of pain. Follow this guide to write a letter to the people that have hurt you. By so doing, you will feel the hurt, mourn it, confront it, and let it go. You will open your heart and mind to embracing life.

Deep breath in; it’ll all be fine. When your heart is fully healed, you will feel a significant boost in your energy levels and vitality, which will bring more happiness and success.

To a more conscious you,

Yana

P.S. Do check out my “People Power” website as I share 8 tips you can use to network and connect with high-power people.

_{This post was first published on Yana Fry blog and has been reposted on Executive Lifestyle with the permission of the author.
Edited by Nedda Chaplin
Image credit: sitting on a swing on the beach from Shutterstock}

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