Whilst being interviewed yesterday for GuavaPass, the final question of the day was, “what is balance to you?”

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I thought for a while, and started off with: “Balance is an illusion.” I also said that rather than thinking in terms of “in balance” and “off balance”, think of a “state of flow.” This flow sometimes needs something to boost it, at other times something lessened from it.

The trick to staying in flow is a blend of ingredients such as:

• an awareness of time
• learning from experience
• the skill to develop balancing tools

However, before going any further, I wish to state that any organic flow should include an acceptance that:

• life will inevitably be a mix of balance and imbalance
• there is no need to fight imbalance, but rather to learn to
  • respond faster to it
  • recognize the physical, emotional and psychological signs of oncoming imbalance
  • smooth it out

But what is the experience of balance? I said it’s an illusion in that sometimes you may feel off balance, but when put in the grand scheme of things, it’s so insignificant that it doesn’t really warrant the energy given to it. Let’s take this all further. Balance can be experienced through various parameters, as discussed here-on.

Time

Balance can change from one minute to another, morning to evening, Monday to Tuesday, week 1 to week 2, February to March, 2015 to 2016, 2016 to 2026, even from one defining moment in your life to another.

You may wake up peaceful and blissfully happy, every single thing in your life going smoothly and carelessly. You may then realise your period has started over night and there’s a blotch on your sheets. That would explain why that tiny spot is now a full blown pimple and why your zipper is harder to pull up. These are already tiny things that you are balancing within your first hour of waking up. Maybe they don’t throw you off, because this is a scenario you’ve known for decades and you just get on with it. You know what to do, not a big deal. Or maybe the mere realization that that b**ch of a period is back throws you so off balance that the next 5 days are doomed.

For bigger off-balance factors, such as losing your job, it is important to understand this concept of time. It may take months, even years, to find a new job, but you eventually will, and to balance that particular situation, it helps to think long-term. Within the time spent looking for a job, learn to balance the day-to-day life, as this will keep you from a breakdown. Here again, I think that breakdowns aren’t that bad, as they are often what lead to breakthroughs.

Therefore, it is worthwhile to ask, “Is it really as bad as it seems?” Put things in perspective and try to find the positive in the situation.

This is where your attitude, whether intrinsic or developed, can have a positive or detrimental effect on your reaction/response to the cause of imbalance.

Experience

Each time you are thrown off balance, you have a chance to grow from it and see how to better respond next time. Otherwise, you may as well stay in a hamster’s wheel of stress. When you’ve learned your lesson, your skills related to this particular situation kick in automatically, so that in time, what would previously have thrown you off, now hardly phases you. Therefore, when facing a new situation of stress, it’s helpful to remember that “this, too, shall pass,” and ask yourself “what tools are needed in this situation,” and “does this really warrant panic and chaos?”

Awareness and Tools

Once you learn to recognize the signs your body sends you about impending imbalance, you can realign yourself faster. Maybe it’s a faster heartbeat, sweaty palms or a sense of panic. Whatever it is, find a way to counterbalance it by developing a tool kit. This could include closing your eyes to take three deep breaths, with a mantra such as “I am at peace, I have clarity.”

Support System

For those times when you are hit with something deeply unsettling, such as a sudden death or divorce, it’s necessary to ask for support because sometimes you just aren’t strong enough. Surrender to the weakness, understanding that it is as much a part of your flow of experience as is your strength.

Hopefully these thoughts on balance will help you to be more in a state of flow.

I am designing a 2016 Spring Bali Retreat. This retreat is for women by women. Let me know what an ideal retreat in Bali would be like for you below!

 

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