Networking is the current ‘everything.’

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It enriches your public profile, increases your chances of employment, gains you new business and gives you a chance to learn more about your current environment. Having said this, why is it that so many struggle with creating new social networks? Yes, learning tips is great, but on a fundamental, people need to also understand the behavioural psychology underlying them.

Follow these 6 simple tips to enhance your networking skills, and gain that special awareness on what makes people tick!

1. Separate yourself from the pack.

It’s not enough to smile and give a firm handshake anymore, as people’s attention spans today are increasingly scattered with the bombardment of information. Lets face it. What will make you stand out in their minds? You can do this in 2 ways.

• Do some homework on the ‘influential’ person you might want to reach out to, beyond the “surface level” stuff that everybody already knows, and look into things such as their passion projects you’ve read about.

• Show off a tad bit of your ‘good stuff’ by identifying one or two unique characteristics that you have in advance of the event, and keep them ready to differentiate you from everyone else. People have a tendency to filter out common things, and instead remember interesting and even controversial pieces of information. Even things such as “I’m an avid snow-boarder” will create a visual spark of interest on the other end. You don’t’ want them to forget you, so create that spark of memory for them.

2. Forget you’re working and pay attention.

It’s inbuilt in our psychology to watch people’s eyes when we are talking to them. Why? In our past, when someone’s eyes diverted from our gaze, it signaled ‘danger’ (a tiger behind me), and our natural instinct would be to run.

So it is in our intuitive nature to keep tabs on the person we’re engaging with. That is why it is easy by paying attention to someone’s eyes, to sense when someone is truly engaged or distracted. So, thinking about how this new relationship might develop and become important to you and your business can distract you from the current moment.

And being a distracted, dispassionate conversationalist is no way to lock someone into your network, because people want to feel valuable at the end of the day. So genuinely, listen with an open mind and without judgment, and no doubt the other person will feel flattered and then simultaneously have a genuine interest in you.

3. Use positive lingo within your conversation.

Compare these two similar requests…

“Hey Bill. I would like to do an interview with you on your new project by this Friday, we have very similar audiences.” (Yawn)

vs.

“Hey Bill, I’d love it if we could do a quick interview sometime soon on your new project, my audience loves your work.” (Hey, I like this guy)

While “saying” the same thing, you likely immediately realized that #2 was far more inviting and used positive language to get the same message across. Of course, be wary of over doing the positive lingo, but do come prepared with maybe phrases such as “would love to,” “that’s interesting,” and “tell me more!”

4. Start following these engagement techniques.

Whatever you do, remember people’s names, and make sure you use it at least twice in a 5-minute conversation. If you tend to have a poor memory, use techniques such as associating their names with a physical characteristic they might have such as ‘Slim Jim,’ or ‘Cool Catherine.’ There is nothing more off-putting than someone forgetting your name, because who do we value the most? Ourselves!

Match their body language from time to time, such as their stance or arm movements, so their subconscious minds register ‘you’re on the same page as them’.

Use hypnotic words, when you’re talking to them such as ‘imagine,’ so the person deflects from judging you and gains value by doing a trans-derivational search (reflects inwardly on the topic you are conveying to them). That is how you create value for them. (For more info on how to use hypnotic words, email me)!

5. Know when to exit.

Exit quickly from conversations that aren’t good matches.

Equally important in any social interaction is your ability to disconnect with people who either provide no value to you, or with whom you sense a hint of discord and competition. You will easily be able to gauge whether there is synergy or discord, through sensing your own body movements (i.e. tense muscles, constant frown, knots in your stomach etc.).

6. Imperative is the follow up.

The easiest and most efficient way is to connect through social media, whether it be Email, LinkedIn, Facebook, or the like. Refrain from hounding them straight away, in fact, leave a 1-day gap between meeting and contacting.

Mention something unique in your follow up, like something you remembered from your interactions with them, so they know it’s not a mass follow up email.

Twitter is also a great way to connect with other people prior to an event. Follow the hashtag for the event to listen to what other people are saying. It’s a quick and friendly way to connect before-hand.