It takes more than motivation and willpower to create a new habit.

---

It’s normal to start off with huge gusto and enthusiasm, only for it to steadily decline, sometimes within the first day. With motivation gone, it’s up to willpower to be on double-duty. Well, soon enough willpower may also be depleted, and then it’s back to old habits.

Fear not! We can consciously decide to influence our unconscious to build new neural pathways, so that new habits become as automated as brushing our teeth.

Be Specific

What, specifically, is your goal? Example: I will go to the gym and sign up for the spinning class.

How will you achieve it? Example: I will overcome my shyness and awkwardness, and get myself in a spunky, go-get-it mood.

What do you need to do to get started? I need to pack my clothes and bag the night before, check the route and travel time, see if I need to pre-book my spot, and make sure I’ve got breakfast ready. I need to also repeat to myself that I need this class – it’s great for my body to get some movement, and imagine how good I will feel after class.

Other advice to self: I will take it easy and build up a light sweat, and I won’t let thoughts like, ‘every one else is fitter than me’ make do ridiculous things such as push myself until I faint.

Write down your steps.

Extra motivation: Why do you want to change the way you do something? Or, why do you want to add something to your routine? Write your why and your goal down and place it where you can see it, in one or more places you know you frequent each day (toilet, kitchen, wallet).

Be Sneaky 

Trick your subconscious with small steps. It’s like a stubborn child. Imagine telling a child that they can’t have their daily dessert anymore. What is she likely to do? Cross her arms, stomp her feet, and declare a revolution against this new horror of a rule. Imagine instead that you give the child one piece of (whole wheat) toast with a delicious spinach pesto (if you have to, add cheese, and reduce it in the following weeks), followed by ¾ the size of her normal sweet portion. Continue for one week, then reduce the size of the sweet portion until it’s where you want it to be.

Now, do the same for yourself in real life.

Take note: Keep your new habits realistic. It is more productive and a real ego-booster to raise standards than lower them. Also, be accurate in your estimate of how long it will take and cost, so that you can actually afford the minutes and the dollars.

Schedule In Your Prep Time And The Actual New Habit

You can have the best sneakiness, motivation, and willpower, but if you don’t have the ingredients, equipment or other resources for what you want to do, you can’t do it. Example: You swear to have green juice in the morning but upon waking up, you discover a fridge without ingredients. You want to go exercising in the evening, but all your clothes are sweaty. No juice, no run.

Penciling in preparation for your new habit is key to getting started and in keeping it going. I wash my veggies the afternoon before for my morning green juice. We keep the girls’ taekwondo bags packed with washed and ironed outfits and helmets, and they have particular water bottles for sports, which means they make it on time in a good mood.

Reward: Are you an equipment enthusiast? Reward yourself with a cool new kitchen gadget or something as small as new gym socks after your first, second, or third set of ten days. Do 30 days straight The jury is out on how many days it takes to make new neural pathways for a habit, but let’s start with 30, and if you need to, keep on extending it with 10 days (or whatever number thrills you), until you one day find yourself doing it out of habit. Use a calendar to mark each day you did your new habit and keep it consistent. This is where you will need perseverance.

Tip: Keep it creative. Use stickers to rejoice over or collect coins in a jar ($1 per day), and use that money towards a good cause. Also, set a minimum and maximum amount of time, food, or other resources for your new habit. I will do at least 15 minutes of walking each day, and I will cap it at 90 minutes.

Just Get Started

Starting is the biggest step. What’s going to help you? Setting a timer for your minimum time? Reporting in to someone that you are about to start? Or calling a friend or coach when you are procrastinating to get them to boost you into action?

Be honest: Ask yourself if avoiding it is helping you towards your goal or taking you further away from it.

Guess what? My new habit is to start exercising again, and I’m feeling self-conscious about going to the gym after a break of 21 months. The examples above in Be Specific are my actual whats and hows. Share yours because we get a boost when we know we aren’t alone.

Most importantly, enjoy yourself! Pick a new habit that is not only beneficial, but fun. Something you’ve dreamed of doing or an activity that makes you happy.

—

We are the leaders, activists, innovators and visionaries – whether in the public eye or behind the scenes – who are revolutionising the way people think and live. We are #ConnectedWomen.

Join #ConnectedWomen, it’s free.