Have you recently been promoted into (or accepted) your first ever management role? Have you found that you might need a little bit of help to transition smoothly, but, and you knew there was a ‘but’ coming, if you ask your boss for training or coaching you fear you’ll either look incompetent or it may be a sign to the boss that he / she made a mistake in promoting you?

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This is a very real scenario; it could be a challenging situation yet it need not be! So how do you ask for the training or coaching you need without losing face or risking some sort of backlash? Here is my suggested process.

I can’t give you a 100% success, 6-steak knives, money-back guarantee but I can assure you it will help you think through the situation professionally, strategically and thoroughly so you will have a much greater chance of getting the development support you need.

First and foremost, you need to get very clear about what the real issues or challenges are; the places where you need a bit of assistance. Here are just a few issue examples; of course you may be experiencing something else:

• Understanding the strategic vision, ‘translating’ it into terms the team can understand, and then actions and implement.
• Letting go of some of the technical tasks you either like doing or believe only you can do.
• Not knowing how to delegate properly.
• Now having to manage people who were your work mates.
• Now having to manage people who also applied for the job you won; and/or now managing your workmates.
• Managing your time so that you can do your work and manage/lead the team and check that the work is being done.
• Communicating effectively so work is completed on time, within budget and to standard.
• Communicating across departments to reach the outcomes you need to achieve without annoying/frustrating the other departments.

When you can identify what is exactly at the heart of the issue, you have already reduced the perceived magnitude of the supposed incompetence or concern for your lack of ability. Yes, it’s like a mind game. When we say to ourselves “I need training but if I ask the boss, he/she will think I’m incompetent.” This can play on our insecurities and create bigger than necessary – yes, unreal – anxiety. When you break it right down to what the heart of the issue really is, it’s a bite size chunk that can be dealt with much quicker and easier! So, give yourself a diagnosis – work out what the key challenge is so you can then move to the next step.

The next step is to identify what will be the most effective and efficient way to help you address the issue. Depending on the size of your organisation, you may be able to draw on some help from the HR or Training department. Will you need a workplace coach to support you; will a short training course help get your skills up to speed; or will a training video be enough; etc.?

Give yourself an hour or two of searching the net to get some ideas of what’s available in the market. If you do have direct access to HR or the Training Dept, discuss with them your issue and that you would like some training, coaching and/or resource options. HR and Training should have their finger on the pulse of what’s in the market so use them to help you get a good picture of what can be done to help you work towards resolving the issue.

(Just as an aside, if you do have the expertise of the HR or Training Dept to rely on, they should have information relating to other managers in similar situations and so they could be better placed to organise an in-house training course or group coaching program.)

Once you have a few options, including relevant details like timing, cost, and availability, you have the basis of a business case for your professional development.

Can you see how you’ve moved from what could be sheer terror of being seen as incompetent (okay, maybe not quite so dramatic, but you get my meaning), to a well thought-out business case that identifies very real, specific target area(s) within your professional development, which, if addressed will lead to better outcomes, smoother team function and a better looking bottom line?

This article was first published on Sally Foley-Lewis blog and has been reposted on Executive Lifestyle with the permission of the author.
Edited by Nedda Chaplin

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