Have you ever ended up setting yourself a really compelling goal, throwing yourself into fulfilling it with all the determination you can muster and then finding yourself with nothing at all to show for your efforts?

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Desiring something with all your might isn’t enough to get results – you have to get moving and do something concrete. Very often, though, your efforts still aren’t enough. Perhaps you’ve already ended up taking action after action in the belief that you’re getting closer to your objective, only to realise that not only are these actions not relevant to your goal, they also actually seem to be taking you further away from it.

If you think you’re giving your all but aren’t achieving your goals, keep reading and you’ll find out why.

Paige And Her Insufficiently Useful Actions For Her Goals

Last week, I witnessed something I’d like to share with you. I was chatting with Paige (name changed to preserve anonymity), a young woman of around 30, who has been running a financial business in Singapore for some time. Paige told me proudly how her family had been able to launch a successful business in Malaysia, silencing their critical neighbours and ‘friends’ who hadn’t thought they could do it at all. Following their success, Paige relocated to Singapore to further develop the business.

At first glance, Paige’s situation seems perfect. However, Paige feels that since moving to Singapore her relationship with her family back in Malaysia has deteriorated considerably. She hasn’t been in contact with them for a year, and would like to find a way to reopen communications with her loved ones.

Because of this, she started a life-coaching course with a colleague. Paige tells me that every week, during her coaching sessions, she has found answers regarding her problem and, in particular, she has understood how she can deal with her internal resistances. Yet despite her words of satisfaction, to me, Paige didn’t seem content.

Me: ‘Paige, I sense that something is troubling you. What’s going on?’

Paige: ‘You’re right. Every week, at my coaching sessions, I increase my knowledge and understanding and I realise what I have to do to solve my problem, but the situation doesn’t seem to change.’

Paige seems sincere and genuinely interested in finding a way of breaking out of her situation. But, from what she says, I gather that perhaps she isn’t doing anything concrete, or isn’t doing enough to get any real results.

Me: ‘What are you doing to solve your problem?’

Paige: ‘Well, I’ve thought a lot about the things that come to light during my coaching sessions and I find them useful. At the end of each session, I write down what I need to do.’

Me: ‘So, what are you actually doing to solve the problem?’

Paige: ‘For now … well, I need a bit of time. I can’t just suddenly call my parents – I’m still deciding what to do. But, in the meantime, I’m not just sitting around. Every so often I reread my notes, so that I can keep in mind what to say.’

Me: ‘Paige, which of the actions you’re taking are ACTUALLY going to help you improve communications with your parents?’

At this point Paige realises that until she picks up the phone and calls her parents, her problem will remain a problem. Reading her notes or creating imaginary scenarios for the phone call won’t help her reach her goal, as long as she hasn’t yet made the decision to actually call her family.

Paige’s case shows an example of actions that contribute towards a goal, but in reality they are not genuinely helpful in obtaining concrete results. Keep an eye out for Part 2 of this article, where we discuss the different types of actions you can take to help you achieve your goals.

 Begin the journey to become the hero of your life! Visit Anh’s page to find out more

_{This post was first published on ThreeSixtySkills blog and has been reposted on Executive Lifestyle with the permission of the author.
Edited by Nedda Chaplin
Image credit: Young male freelancer chatting on mobile phone from Shutterstock}

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