Messy And Disorganised? Don’t Beat Yourself Up


You’re not a hoarder by any means, but somehow your possessions have gotten out of control.


You can’t find what you want when you need it.  You waste money on things you already have but can’t find or had even forgotten you had.  You argue with your spouse about clutter.  You feel tired and frustrated with yourself for being messy and disorganised.

Don’t be too harsh on yourself – clutter and lack of organisation could be the result of your upbringing and external factors.

Blame It On Your Parents 

Your upbringing may have deprived you of the opportunity to learn organising skills – either because your parents were quite disorganised themselves and had no idea how to teach you those skills, or they relied on a domestic helper to maintain the home tidy and you never paid attention to the need of being organised.

Or on the contrary, your parents were perfectionists and put so much pressure on you to maintain a tidy bedroom that you rebelled and made no efforts.  Or they were such control-freaks that they didn’t give you a chance to organise your belongings your own way.  I must confess that I had to fight this behaviour as a mother, and let my son come up with his own systems and standards so that he could be more motivated – and learn from the process.

The good news is that organising skills can be learned, and it’s never too late to learn them.  Transferring organising skills is a big component in the work I do with my clients during our hands-on organising sessions.  I also count amongst my clients a significant number of parents who bring me in to help them get organised, so that they can be better role models and transfer the skills to their children.  I sometimes get to work directly with their children to help them organise their belongings, in particular their desks and schoolwork.

Due to  requests of parents who have recognised the importance of organising skills, I am putting together a workshop catered towards students about to leave for university, to teach them organising skills so that they can be better prepared to embrace this new stage of life.

Blame It On External Factors

Whether you are organised or not, life will throw events at you that will bring chaos into your life. It can be the loss of a loved one, tending to a sick family member, the arrival of a new baby, a divorce, a work backlog etc.  All of a sudden, you find yourself not being able to cope any more.

First of all, be kind to yourself and focus on the areas that require your most immediate attention.  When you feel it’s time for you to get back on track, take a step back and analyse the situation.  Develop a plan that will take into consideration your time and mental availability.  Having someone who can guide you and support you through this highly emotional time can be very beneficial.

Whatever the reasons behind your clutter and lack of organisation, don’t be embarrassed by it.  If it makes you frustrated, seek solutions to address the problem.  In a separate post, I will explore the psychological reasons behind being messy and disorganised.

In the meantime, do contact me if you are ready to learn the skills – and get support to guide you to get organised and beyond!

Work With Nathalie

Let go of your clutter and feel in control of your home and life again! Contact me today.

Did you enjoy this post? Please share!
Nathalie Ricaud

Professional organiser Nathalie Ricaud helps women who feel overwhelmed by all their "stuff" learn to let go of things that are just stressing them out, and feel in control of their home and life again. She helps them establish systems to make sure they can find what they want when they need it, and maintain a clutter-free, organised and peaceful home. In addition to hands-on organising work, Nathalie is the author of a blog and is regularly published in print and online media. She’s also a regular speaker at events and conferences. Visit her website for more details.

Edited by Michelle Sarthou, Image credit: Shutterstock

No Comments

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

Latest