BPW Makati is known for inviting incredible guest speakers who encourage the role of women as prime contributors to society. Recently they hosted conscious leadership and mindfulness expert Dinah Salonga.

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She was chosen as a Top 10 Entrepreneur. She teaches classes, seminars, and trains leaders in mindfulness to develop emotional intelligence, relieve stress, and build their leadership skills.

In the ’90s, Salonga became manager of a prominent IT company. She describes herself as being very demanding, requiring of workers to do tasks she could already do, but for which they were not trained. She bluntly referred to herself as the movie-typical “boss from hell” (think: The Devil Wears Prada Miranda Priestly)!

Now, more than a decade later, Dinah leads with consciousness and compassion. Today we’re sharing various nuggets of gold from her insightful talk in becoming a conscious and compassionate leader that gets results and creates success.

Lesson #1: It Is What It Is

When we encounter problems in business it is often because we expect too much from teammates or co-workers. We run into problems and our emotional response is a desire to change people.

Dinah stressed acceptance. Acceptance means taking action, you let it happen, and are not trying to force results to immediately happen.

You cannot change others, if they do not want to change, they will not. You need to change. Acceptance is doing something (taking action) and then letting it take its course. You cannot be in the future fixing everything, you cannot stay in the past to correct this and that; you have be mindful and present in the present. The ‘right now’.

Lesson #2: Listen

Can we really, truly listen while we’re typing away at our laptop, or checking our phone? Do the benefits of dropping everything to listen to someone outweigh the efficiency we feel when we multitask and seemingly accomplish more?

Mindful listening plays a big role in mindful leadership because communication is key to team success. When your team succeeds, your business succeeds, and the dominos continue to fall in your favour!

Dinah shared a short activity that you can practice with just about anyone. Try it with a friend, a family member, or your coworkers! Silently apply these rules when you meet new people (hint hint, while networking) and they’ll love you simply for your great listening!

1. Speaker talks for one minute
2. Listener gives full attention to speaker
3. Do not interrupt, nod or encourage the speaker
4. Both pay attention to how you feel during the exercise

Though there is often this relentless ‘me’ desire to speak and share your two cents, the speaker feels appreciated as you listen without interruption.

Learn to listen not to respond, but to understand.

Lesson #3: Respond Instead of React

A reaction comes from personality, while a response comes from mindfulness.

So what can you do to respond instead of react? Identify your tiger territory. This is different for many people, but it is what triggers your annoyance, that automatic reactions that stir anger.

Emotional Intelligence

Dinah shared some pointers from Daniel Goleman’s book that she has obviously drawn wisdom from, entitled Emotional Intelligence – Why It Can Matter More Than I Do. There are five domains (which you can see in the clip below), but the most prominent of these is ‘Self-Awareness’. She proceeded in saying that once you build on your self-awareness, you will begin to develop the following emotional competencies:

1. Understanding your emotions and their effects.
2. Knowing your strengths and limits.
3. Having a better sense of your self-worth and capabilities.

“Self-awareness leads to clarity.”

All of the above come together to help you become a conscious and compassionate leader. But how do you make it stick? Dinah knows from experience, it takes practice working those muscles.

If you want to run a race, you train. If you want to become a great engineer, you study and practice. Becoming a conscious, aware, mindful leader is a skill. You don’t need to be born with it, you can learn it. And to do so, you need to apply and practice it daily.

Summary

1. Don’t try to change others. Change yourself, take action and then let things run their course.
2. Listen – not to respond, but to understand.
3. Know what triggers a reaction and instead choose mindful responses.
4. Become more self-aware so that you can lead mindfully.

Enjoy the rest of Dinah Salonga’s presentation in the video below!

Written by Amber Valencia

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_{Edited by Nedda Chaplin
Image credit: Gina Romero}

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