We are now living in the 21st century, and technology has revolutionized our lives and activities.

From the use of home appliances to mainstream technological gadgets, we rely on technology to make our lives easier. However, have they taken over our lives in how we speak and think? I will answer this question by illustrating how smartphones have taken over our lives and controlled how we communicate with others.

In A Study Of The Usage Of Phones In Singapore, It Was Found That:

1. 80% of the population of Singapore use smartphones.

2. 18% use them more than 18 hours per day.

3. 97% carry their smartphones around.

4. 74% use their phones when their families and friends are around.

5. 8% do not use their phones when their families and friends are around.

As the survey indicates, we are dependent on our smartphones – one way or another. I do not deny that the applications being installed in our smart phones have made our lives easier.

We Can Now:

1. Book a cinema ticket without leaving the comfort of home.

2. Reserve a restaurant on-the-go.

3. Order home-delivery food.

4. Purchase our groceries online.

5. Read the news on-the-go.

6. Self-diagnose our medical health.

7. Call for medical health.

There are always two sides to a coin. While there are advantages to using our smartphones, there are also disadvantages. One disadvantage is that the use of our smartphones has been killing the art of face-to-face communication.

The Various Situations Some Of Us Might Have Experienced When We Encounter Someone Using A Smartphone Are:

1. A friend of yours who is communicating with another friend ignores you when you wish him or her good morning.

2. You have to call out to a family member via a mobile communication application for him or her to have dinner.

3. Everyone at dinner is busy using their smartphones for communication. There is no physical face-to-face interaction.

4. Children prefer to indulge on mobile games rather than having intimate conversations with their relatives.

5. Our colleagues prefer to communicate with us through an online mobile communication application, even though they are merely 500 meters away.

6. People in relationships break up via mobile online communication.

How have these activities affected the way we communicate with people? One aspect of the consequence of these activities is that our relationships become less personal. Less intimate conversations are becoming the norm. One would not truly be able to express his or her true feelings about a situation.

For Example:

1. One may feel neglected because his or her other half is always using their smartphone.

2. Parents find it difficult to have an intimate conversation with their children.

3. Parents neglect the care of their children because of their obsession with their smartphones.

4. Children find it difficult to open up to their parents.

5. The youth feel less empathy for others.

6. There is less development in social skills among the youth.

Conversations in the absence of mobile communications technologies are more superior than using a mobile device to communicate ( Misra, Cheng, Genieve & Yuan, 2014). People who have conversations in the absence of mobile devices reported higher levels of empathetic concerns, while those conversing in the presence of a mobile device reported lower levels of empathy ( misra et al 2014 ).

Brignall and Van Valey, in their study on the effects of technology among cyber-youth, have stated that in the pervasive use of the internet in education, communication, and entertainment, there has been a significant decrease in face-to-face interaction with people. This may cause significant consequences on the development of their social skills, and on how they present themselves.

In another study entitled In Alone Together : Why We Expect More From Technology & Less From Each Other which looks at how technology effects familial relationships, it was stated by Turtle ( 2012 ) that children complain about their parents’ obsession with smartphones and how they showed less affection with them. Families or friends sitting at the same table having lunch or dinner can be “glued” to their phones without striking conversation with each other. Isn’t that so weird? I would run out of the place immediately, if I were in that situation. I do not like to eat with technology zombies.

I have gone around to ask people how mobile technology has affected the way people committed with others. Here are the quotes that I obtained:

“ People have lost the ability to communicate with each other face to face. Just imagine, a breakup is now done by sending a message.”

“People hide behind technology to disguise their true self. You would not know if you are chatting with a man or lady.”

“People feel awkward to say good morning in lifts when they meet each other early in the day.”

“My son prefers to send me a message – when we are living in the same house!”

Mobile technology has really affected in the way we communicate with others. However, all is not lost. There are ways to reduce our usage on mobile technologies and increase face – to – face communication. I am leaving that to my next topic. Therefore, stay tune and have a great 2017!

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When we were children, an all too common question we are asked is, ‘what do you want to be when you grow up?’  And for some, it’s to become successful leaders in their occupation.

For those who have achieved their goal to become successful leaders, the question is: How did they achieve this? Was the journey difficult? What characteristics and attitudes are needed to achieve this goal? Are these characteristics and attitudes inborn or natured? The next few paragraphs will answer these questions, by discussing the five steps that you will have to undertake in order to become a leader successfully.

1. Know Yourself

In order to become a successful leader, one needs to know oneself. One needs to know his or her own strengths and weaknesses. We need to improve our attitudes and images. Why is this important? Well, to be a leader you have to lead. Therefore, you need to convince others why they should follow you. You need to develop good values and have integrity. People can talk a lot about integrity and praise themselves for having good integrity. However, our integrity will be tested when we are tempted to “cheat” in order to be successful. Do we do it or not?

One way to know your strengths and weaknesses is by conducting a survey about yourself with your team. Ask them for honest feedback about you. Through this, you get to kill two birds with one stone: Getting to know yourself, and growing together with the team. You will need to create a good approachable personality also.

You may be appointed as leader in your office for a certain project. You may have been given the title of director. Your team may be obligated to follow you because of your title. But if you depend on your title as an influence only, you will not develop any connectivity with your team.

Leadership is not a position but a progression. If you are a positional leader, you will find it difficult to influence others to work with you. You are being an independent leader, and not a leader who is dependent on his or her team to grow.

I am in the wellness nutrition business called Herbalife and I have a team of three under me. When I first took my infant steps into the business, I needed to find a way to get people to follow me. How did I do that? I transformed my body to a sexy one and became fit in order to show that the products really work, and for others to learn how I obtain my customers. I believe in being honest, and I portray my honesty in how I sell and promote my products.

As I have mentioned, I have three leaders under me. How did I get them to follow me? This is explained in the next step.

2. Influence

Before you embark on the second step, it is important that you get the first step correct. You have to ask yourself what you want to bring to the table for your team. For example, if you do not develop good values and integrity, do you want your team to follow your values and integrity? I hope you do not go down this road.

Therefore, in carrying on I am assuming that you will be bringing good values and integrity to the table. Now the next question is, how are you going to influence your team to follow you? You need to have positive connectivity with your team in order to influence them.

Your leaders / team look upon you as someone who will help them grow. For example, you are good in your sales job: they would want to learn from you how to be successful in your job. They want to be as successful as you and in turn you will want them to achieve the same goals as you, or even better.

You need to create a bond with your team. You need to develop your team members and help them achieve their fullness potential. You need to know their strengths and weaknesses. You need them to feel comfortable with you for them to let you in on their strengths and weaknesses, and even life. Therefore, the bottom line is that you need to establish good communication lines. This is why you need to get the first step right in developing a good, approachable personality. I cannot emphasize too much the importance in getting the first step right.

Once there is excellent connectivity with your team, the next step is helping them develop into leaders. This is where personal development plays an important part. I will delve further into  personal development in the fourth step, but for now I will move on to production.

3. Production

In the corporate world, results matter. You cannot escape the spider web trap of producing results. Results shows how successful a team is, but unfortunately does not show how connected the team is. Beyond popular belief, a not-so-connected team can at times produce better results than a connected team but the lifeline of the team would not be long. Therefore, I will go with connectivity.

A team needs to produce results, period. Results are of great influence. Like I mentioned  before, your results will increase your influence, and your team’s as well. If your team members are not producing results, you need to know why. If you got the connectivity part right, it should not be a problem for you to get your team members to explain to you why they are not producing the desired results.

We all want to play the good saints. We want to praise and not criticise. We want to encourage and not discourage. However, we cannot fall into the trap of being too soft. At times we need to take a hard stance. We need to know what problems there are, if any, causing one or more of your members to not produce. If he or she produces the results over time, that’s well and good. If he or she in the long run is going to bring the team down, it is best to dismiss them. Here again, if your connectivity with the team is excellent, they will understand your actions and will not hold a grudge against you. I do hope so.

As a Herbalife independent nutrition distributor and leader, I monitor the sales that my three leaders close every month. I give them a target to achieve. Not all the time can targets be met but I am alright with it as long they are working constantly. If they are not, I will inquire and help them in areas that I can. We have created a relationship wherein my leaders are open in sharing their happiness and sadness with me.

For good results to be produced, communication between the team needs to be in sync. Each other’s strengths and weaknesses need to be understood. We need to enhance each other’s strengths to help the team produce the desired results. This is where personal development comes in.

4. Personal Development

Personal development helps one to capitalise on one’s strengths. It aids in becoming a better person. It helps a person to achieve things that they thought they could not achieve. For example, I managed to encourage one of my leaders who disliked reading to start doing so, and to date she has read 10 books. One can read books on personal development. There are many such books in the market. For example: “The 21 Most Powerful Minutes In A Leadership” by John C. Maxwell & “The Five Major Pieces To The Life Puzzle” by Jim Rohm. Another way to engage in personal development is by attending training courses and seminars.

It is one thing to read or attend seminars in personal development, and another to apply what you have learned. I allow my leaders to apply what they have learned or read about regarding personal development. One major element of personal development is having a positive outlook in life, and my leaders have internalised this element. They are so good at it that even when they face disappointments or difficulties, they either move on or turn their disappointments or difficulties into an opportunity.

A quote by Reed Markham, American Writer, Salt Lake Community College sums it up best:

“Successful leaders see the opportunities in every difficulty rather than the difficulty in every opportunity.”

The leaders under me are able to use their talents. Knowing that one of my leaders is good in writing, I allow him to write up presentations and the details of our sales plans. Another one is good in negotiations so she helps the other team members negotiate sales deals. It is a team effort.

Therefore, if you want to be a good leader you must develop the talents of your leaders.

Allow them to grow. Encourage them to read and send them to personal development courses so they can develop to their fullest potential.

When they feel that you care and are concerned about them, good relationships can be formed between you and your team. Once this is accomplished, they will follow you through tough and good times. They will be more willing to go through the trials and tribulations of life with you.

After you have formed a successful team with strong cohesiveness, how do you ensure the survival of the team? This is where point number five comes in.

5. Legacy
Reaching point number five is equivalent to achieving enlightenment in your life. Many leaders reach point number four but not number five. Reaching number five means you have developed a legacy of becoming a very successful leader, and you have a number of leaders that are capable of following in your footsteps.

One major aspect of being a successful leader is developing many leaders in your image – or somewhat in your image – and allowing them to be successful on their own. Do not be afraid if they achieve more successes than you.

Tom Peters quoted:

“Leaders do not create followers; they create more leaders.”

To reiterate, for your successful leadership to live on, other leaders have to carry on your legacy. This is how a company survives.

General Electric has had a successful business model for decades. It is cited by Fortune Magazine as among the Top 10 organisations for leadership. Why? Because it was for many years led by Jack Welch, a leader who developed other leaders to follow in his shoes – and those leaders developed other leaders. The succession in leadership flows by like an endless river.

Conclusion
To be a successful leader, you have to develop your values, personality, and attitudes. Make sure they are of good quality because you want others to follow you. You have to create a relationship with your leaders and hence they will follow your leadership. In time, they will become successful leaders like you. They will carry on your legacy. Most leaders do not reach to the legacy stage but if you have then you have achieved all that you wanted as  a leader. I hope this article will inspire you to become the leader that you want to be.

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Ever wondered why there are times when you exercise regularly and there is no significant weight loss?

It all boils down to simple maths. Let’s say if you run rigorously and burn off around 400 calories in a day, you feel proud of yourself. You weigh yourself and the result indicates that you have lost around 1kg. Then you think to yourself, “Congrats! Go out and give yourself a treat!”

Therefore, you head out to your favourite chicken rice stall and order a plate of chicken rice, which contains around 410 calories. You have just replaced the calories that you have burned with an extra 10 calories. “No worries,” you tell yourself. You can easily burn it off with the running that you do.

Just for the record, has anyone had this kind of thinking before?

What if the plate of chicken rice was for lunch only! What about dinner? Now you tell yourself to make yourself happy. “Alright I had chicken rice for lunch, so I shall have something light for dinner. What shall I have? Mushroom soup, which is only 203 calories?“

Your night ends happily for you. However, you have consumed around 603 calories. You now have to burn at least 603 calories, assuming you run every day! Can you do it since you only burn 400 calories daily? If you can, good for you, but what if you can’t? You will be packing at least an extra 200 calories and if your diet is pretty status quo, you would have gained at least an extra 1,400 calories in just seven days. Sorry to burst your bubble.

You now have gained weight instead of losing weight, despite the rigorous running that you do.

Now consider this scenario, your exercise regime causes you to lose 400 calories. You then decide to drink a Herbalife shake, which only contains 98kcal and have something that contains 202 calories. You would have consumed a total of 300 calories. You resume your exercise regimen the next day. Now you will be able to lose at least 100kcal a day, which would add up to 700 calories in a week. Your weight also reduces. You can now afford to eat that plate of chicken rice and still lose weight.

If you want to know more about Herbalife products
can help you lose weight or maintain weight, contact Vanessa here.

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Singapore is a food-loving nation, and what better way to celebrate the country’s 51st birthday with good eats? In celebration of National Day, we’ve cooked up a series in which we asked our experts to share their favourite foods and the stories behind them.

There is one activity in this whole wide universe that binds human mankind in happiness. From the title, I am sure you can guess what the activity is. Yes, the activity of bonding through our stomachs.

We organize activities that involve indulging in our favourite cuisine. It is a great way to catch up with friends and get an update on what it is happening in their lives. The same goes for family gatherings.

In this article, I will be talking about Buak Keluak, a traditional family cuisine that never fails to bring the family together.The dish can be cooked with pork trotters or chicken.

From Indonesia To Singapore

The origins of Buah Keluak can be traced back to the island of Indonesia. The Peranakan families from Java and Sumatra brought it to Singapore when they reached our island to set up their homes. The Keluak shell or nuts can also be used to prepare an Indonesian dish called Rawon.

The question remains on how Buah Keluak became a Eurasian dish. The answer is in the word Eurasian. One becomes Eurasian through intermarriages. Therefore, various cooking styles were adopted. Many Eurasians learnt how to cook Buah Keluak from their Nonya counterparts and recognized the dish as their own making. Some people just do not want to lose face but Buah Keluak remains a Peranakan dish.

Buah Keluak Preparation Tips

As mentioned earlier, the dish can be made with pork trotters or chicken. Part of the enjoyment of eating Buah Keluak involves picking the nut with your fingers or with a small fork. You have to painstakingly dig out the black flesh from the pre-chiseled hole in the shell.

It is quite a difficult dish to make. First, you need to prepare the rempah (spice paste). The red gravy colour comes from the dried red chilies and buah keras(candlenuts). If you want the gravy to be less thick, use fewer candle nuts. I personally like it thick and spicy.

Soak the red chilies in hot water to soften it. Next, prepare the belachan prawn paste by dry frying it or toasting it. Rempah ingredients can be cut into small pieces. Cut the lemon grass, galangal, and dried red chillies and pound them together.

Either use the traditional method of using mortar (which may take hours, hand and arms may hurt but it is fun) or for fast and easy preparation, use a blender. Personally, the rempah will turn out better if pounded. Moreover, crushing using a mortar to mix ingredients helps to release the fragrance better. Making rempah is time-consuming, so you may want to make the paste in advance and to keep it in the fridge.

The buah keluak nuts need to be soaked overnight, scrubbed and chiseled in order to get the kernels out. I remember watching my mum undertake this laborious task when I was young. I helped out when I was older and gained some trust in my mother to cook.

Another option to do away with the chiseling and deshelling of the nuts is to purchase pre-packed deshelled nuts. However, my mum told me that by doing so takes the fun and joy of preparing the dish.

Now it is time to turn the powder into a paste. Just 1 tablespoon of water per 100g Buah Keluak powder would do the trick. Pepper, salt, and sugar can be added for seasoning.

Next, prepare the Assam (tamarind) juice. Mush up a block of tamarind paste in water, squeezing the pulp and seeds with your hands. Strain the mixture but keep the leftover bits in case you need a second press of juice if the gravy becomes thick.

There is an option to use chicken or pork. I like to use pork but due to religious sensitivity, I would use chicken at times. Most importantly, the gravy with the nut paste needs to be fragrant and everything will fall into place.

Once the rempah and nuts are prepared, fry the rempah until it’s fragrant, add the meats and then sieve in the Assam juice. Finally, add the nuts and simmer until the flavour is absorbed.

Ingredients

• 250-300g buah keluak nut kernels (aka ‘kluwak’ at Indonesian grocers)

• White pepper powder

• Salt to taste

• Sugar to taste

• 15-20 disposable loose tea filter bags

• Cooking twine (optional)

• 1.2kg total of chicken and/or pork

• 2-3 kaffir lime leaves

• 100g tamarind paste

• 1 litre of water

• 6 buah keras (candlenuts)

• 2 stalks lemongrass (cut into thick rings)

• 50g piece of galangal

• 35g piece of turmeric

• 20 dried red chilies (soaked in hot water, remove stalks when soft)

• 2 big fresh red chilies

• 20g belachan (shrimp paste – toasted)

• 250g shallots Cooking oil

Instructions

Rempah:

1. Cut ingredients into smaller pieces then grind in a food processor until fine:
   6 buah keras (candlenuts)
   2 stalks lemongrass (cut into thick rings)
   50g piece of galangal
   35g piece of turmeric
   20 stalks dried red chilies (softened in hot water)
   2 big fresh red chilies
   20g belachan (shrimp paste – toasted)
   250g shallots
2. Cover and set aside
3. Can be stored in the fridge for a few days until the day of cooking, or frozen for a few months.

Buah Keluak Paste:

1. Grind the buah keluak nut kernels in a chopper till you get a semi-fine powder
2. Remove from the chopper and add gradually, mix well until you get the desired taste.
3. Add 1 tbsp. water to each 100g of buah keluak powder and mix well until it becomes a paste
4. Roll the buah keluak paste into compact balls of approximately 20g.
5. Place the balls into disposable tea filter bags. Tie them into parcels with cooking twine(optional)

Assam Juice

1. Put together, knead and soak the tamarind paste in 1 litre of water for about 10 minutes:

Cooking:

1. Heat up in a large pot 6-8 tbsp. cooking oil
2. Add and stir fry ground rempah over medium heat until fragrant and a little darker in colour.
3. Add and stir fry chicken/pork.
4. Sift assam juice a little at a time until you get the desired consistency.
5. Add parcels of buah keluak paste and kaffir lime leaves to simmer until flavoris absorbed and switch off the fire.
6. Before serving, season with salt and sugar.

As a note, it is okay to leave the pot of cooked ayam buah keluak on your kitchen stove overnight (without heat) to age and become more flavourful, but any longer than that, I’d probably refrigerate it. Moreover, this dish works well with nyonya chap chye and rice.

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As we close the first quarter of 2016, let’s make time to reflect on the months gone by and the month’s ahead. How is the year panning out for you so far? Vanessa Jacqueline faithfully wrote inspirational messages to inspire you this year, and now she’s freely sharing her tips and life experience through a small but impactful booklet. Her free download will be one of the easiest choices for you this year!

Choose your battles wisely. Not everything in this world is worth fighting for. It is, however, subjective.

OK, let’s say that you choose to fight every battle. You definitely cannot win every battle. Even Napoleon lost his battle at Waterloo to the British because of rain. What happens when you lose? Would you drown yourself in sorrow and self-pity, only causing yourself to be more stressed and have less inner-peace?

Let’s say that you win every battle. Would you become proud as a peacock? Show the world that you are a mighty winner? Here, again, you start putting stress on yourself because you need to maintain your “winning” image.

Therefore, should you fight every battle? Win every battle? Or forget all the battles in your life and treat them as something that can be resolved peacefully and amicably?

Well, the choice is yours. We will face battles in life. We will face challenges. That’s life. But the way we cope after winning or losing a battle is important.

Download my free booklet and be inspired this Year Of The Monkey.

We must not let these battles change our personality into something society can do without. We must not let them harm us. Hey, life is short! We must try to make full use of it to better ourselves morally, mentally, and psychologically.

It is the year of the fiery monkey. It is said that it can cause disasters in society, and also individually. Should we be a fiery monkey or a wise monkey? The choice is yours.

So ladies, choose your battles wisely. Stay beautiful, loving, peaceful, happy, calm and relaxed. Take care.

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Our moods rise and fall like the tide. When we are happy our brain releases endorphin, oxytocin, serotonin and dopamine, also known as the feel-good chemicals, into our blood stream. When we are sad or depressed it is said that there is a chemical imbalance in the brain.

Well, we actually have control over whether we want to be happy or not.

Being depressed at times due to an unfortunate event or due to a failure is natural. However, do we let this mood overcome us?

When we are in a good mood, everything has a clear perspective. We can think more clearly. We are more active. We can use our common sense better. When we are in bad mood, our mind becomes like a wet windscreen during a heavy downpour: everything becomes a blur. We lose our sense of perspective. We do not think rationally. We may act on our emotions, which may cause us, or others harm.

Therefore, we cannot let ourselves walk in the valley of depression, sadness and despair.


Our emotions can also be like a long-distance runner - the runner runs very fast for a certain distance and later slows down. Therefore, in the morning we may be in a good mood, in the afternoon, a bad mood, and in the evening back to being in a good mood.

The way our moods work looks pretty complicated, doesn't it? The truth is, life is almost never as bad as it seems! Hey, I am serious! Rather than staying stuck in a bad mood, convince yourself that you are seeing life realistically. You can learn to question your judgment. Pass off your bad mood as an unavoidable human condition that will pass with time. Being in a low mood is not the time to analyse your life.

Be grateful for your good moods and graceful in your low moods. Try not to take them too seriously. Just try! I know it is very difficult at times, but we must develop inner peace first.

So ladies, be aware of your moods and do not let the low ones overcome you. Stay beautiful, loving, peaceful, happy, calm, and relaxed. Take care.

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