Have you ever found yourself at a networking event stuck in one corner and fiddling with your phone, waiting for someone to talk to? Life and career coach Lea Berry shares some pro tips if you’re a shy networker.

Stepping out of your normal routine to meet strangers can sound pretty daunting when put it in that context. If you’ve ever found yourself at an event holding your bag and drink while staring at your smartphone, you’ll know what I mean. It seems like at every event, there are people chatting, laughing, and bouncing from group to group. And then there are the quiet ones looking around for someone to talk to.

The longer you seem to look around for someone to talk to, the more your nerves set in and you begin to feel as though attending the event was a big mistake. This happens when we begin disconnecting ourselves from the group—creating space both physically and mentally from everyone around us.

As humans, we are wired for connection—whether that be one-on-one or in a group setting. The cautionary advice for networking is don’t let yourself look at your phone for too long. By long, I mean more than a quick glance at your home screen.

Whether you are an introvert or extrovert, we’ve all had moments where we find ourselves alone, looking at the others chatting in groups. It doesn’t bring up good thoughts to see everyone else having fun. It can bring up some ugly and old insecurities about not fitting in.

When you take time out of your evening to network, it can feel like a huge letdown if you can’t connect with someone quickly or meet a lot of interesting people. So here are my top, pro tips to getting you out of the corner and into the conversation quickly to maximize your networking time.

Tip #1: Improve Your Networking Mindset

Your mindset is tricky when you’re in a group setting. You know when you are the outlier in a larger room pretty easily. When you get into a good conversation, those insecurities tend to melt away pretty fast.

When you are alone at an event not talking to anyone, don’t allow the “I’m not interesting” fear to pop in. The question isn’t what’s wrong with you. The question you need to ask yourself should be, “Who can I break the ice with?” By focusing on your next move, you’re taking yourself out of your own head and into action.

If you see a group of people laughing, approach the group and ask if you can join in, even if their backs are to you. They will open up and allow you to introduce yourself and get to know everyone in the circle fairly quickly. It’s a big win if you are scanning for someone to have a one-on-one conversation afterward.

If you see one person who is at the bar ordering a drink, consider going up to the bar and starting the conversation there. If you aren’t a drinker, grab a soda. If you already have a drink, go up and grab a bar napkin, lime, or a straw. Chatting at the bar is a great way to introduce yourself to someone one-on-one if you shy away from the group conversations. They can also invite you to walk over to their group if they are in one. Politely accept and join in. Having someone introduce you or mention that they invited you makes you intriguing to the group and they will be excited to hear more about you.

Tip #2: Invite People In, Subtly

When done right, however, you can make strangers your connections fairly quickly. Don’t allow your posture or voice to deter people from approaching you as well. When you keep yourself in the corner on your phone, it’s difficult to make eye contact.

Making eye contact is the quickest and easiest way to send someone a signal that you’re open to talking. Once eye contact is made, the smile comes next, then you open up verbal introductions.

Tip #3:  Keep Your Phone Interactions Minimal

People want to spend that time talking to you. And when you are trying to make a good first impression, show them that they are important by keeping your attention solely on them. If you’re in a group setting, keep your attention to the person talking.

The best time to get your phone out is when you want to plug in someone’s contact details, especially if they don’t have a business card. You can also whip out your phone to broadcast on social media where you are or you want to schedule a follow-up with someone. The second the phone comes out when you aren’t talking with someone, you could miss the eye contact and connection to start up the next conversation!

Network The Smart Way

When you find yourself at your next event and looking around to start your first or next conversation, remember these tricks. They can help you move from stuck to moving quite quickly.

The original version of this article was published on the Lea Berry Coaching website.

We are the leaders, activists, innovators, and visionaries – whether in the public eye or behind the scenes – who are revolutionizing the way people think and live. We are #ConnectedWomen.
Join the Connected Women community now, it’s free!

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Whether you’re going to your first networking event or your fifth, here are some pro tips from life and career coach Lea Berry that you can use to up your game. Remember these and soon, you can network like a pro.

If you’re searching for a job or building a business, you’ll find yourself at several networking events. Just about every group I participate in loves hosting events where guests have a chance to mingle and meet each other.

Whether you’re new in town or looking to improve your skills, networking can feel tedious at times, exhausting even. If you’re looking for a reason to get out there, perhaps it’s time to sharpen your skills to get the most out of that time.

With your calendar fast piling up, it’s a great time to remind yourself of the quick tips to help you network like a pro and get the right connections you need. Here are my top tips for upping your networking game ASAP.

Tip #1: Make sure you define what success looks like before you head into the event.

If you need to meet at least two new prospects or connect with someone who knows someone at a particular organization, know that ahead of time. By defining your goal, you’re much more likely to walk in with a plan and have a more focused (not narrow) conversation with the person you meet. This isn’t to say the whole conversation should be focused on your goal. But in case you find yourself forgetting what to bring up or what brought you to the event, make sure you come prepared.

Tip #2: If you’re walking into a room cold, meaning you don’t know a soul in the room, you’re doing it wrong.

Look up the attendees or ask the host for a list of attendees ahead of time. You’ll have a much easier time thinking of what to say and to who before you get there.

Tip #3: Walking into a room and moving from group to group can seem daunting but it doesn’t need to be.

When you walk in, take note of the room, where the bar or food stations are, other tables, and take note of how the crowd is dispersed. If you’re a fan of talking to groups, focus on where those groups are, or if you prefer one-on-one conversation position yourself accordingly. When the conversation ends, know where to head next, even if that means the bar or the bathroom.

Tip #4: The biggest failure point for people is following up.

Pro-tip to try at your next event: Tell the person you want to genuinely connect with how and when you plan to follow up by. By directing the follow-up and action you are essentially committing yourself to the follow-up and much more likely to remember it. Use that momentum and follow up with them exactly as planned to remain reliable and courteous of your time and energy.

So there you have it! Good luck at your next networking event!

The original version of this article was published on the Lea Berry Coaching website.

We are the leaders, activists, innovators, and visionaries – whether in the public eye or behind the scenes – who are revolutionising the way people think and live. We are #ConnectedWomen.
Join the Connected Women community now, it’s free!

The post Quick Tips To Up Your Networking Game ASAP appeared first on Connected Women - Entrepreneurs, Freelancers and Professionals..

Life and career coach Lea Berry shares how you can boost your career with self-love—one that doesn’t include posting motivational quotes. Instead, looking at what you do daily can help you in more ways than you know. This is where self-care trumps self-sacrifice.

It may seem like an unlikely pairing, but when you are looking for consistent results, high performance, and maximum impact both at work and at home, you may want to hit the pause button on the motivational movies and quotes.

Instead of swiping through Instagram, turn to your own routine. How well you take care of yourself correlates directly to your career performance in a number of unique ways. When you feel your best, is it when you’ve had zero sleep? You probably feel better when you’re well rested and rejuvenated. There’s a reason people who, after coming back from vacation, are likely to give creative and insightful comments and feedback.

Here are my top reasons for focusing on self-care when you need a long-term career performance boost.

It Gives You Perspective
Setting aside time for yourself connects you back to your roots. It helps ground you to what happens in the world outside of your work.

The world is big, super big. And although our own personal worlds can feel small when you go from day to day, changing your scenery and broadening your scope are important. This allows you to take off your blinders and see new patterns, perspectives, and connections that you wouldn’t usually see.

This connection of patterns translates well into any business environment. You can bring a real-world example or perspective that answers the question “How does this impact the person we are trying to help?”

Answering this question with authenticity makes a big difference not only in the lives of other people but your career potential as well.

It Teaches You Prioritization
You may think all job performance means self-sacrifice, but with each promotion and passing year, responsibilities add up. New challenges will continue to demand your attention. Self-care and taking the time to repeat the activities that really make you feel good can also help you gain a key management skill—prioritization!

Think of it this way, if your boss gives you two weeks to finish a project, you’ll map out a plan to complete the project and fill the days with activities to help you achieve the goal with a two-week deadline. If your boss gives you the same project and said he needs this in one week, well, you’re going to have to identify what needs to happen when and what may not be included in the final product due to time constraints.

The point is, the more time you dedicate to small, filler activities, the less time you have to devote to activities that really set you up for promotion and/or the position you’re really eyeing.

Self-care is an active practice of prioritization. Every time you do it, you receive the benefit, and by doing so you can effectively discern activities and projects at work that will set you up for success at your performance review.

What About Self-Sacrifice?
So what’s the harm with total self-sacrifice for your work? Well, it depends on who you ask. For some people, they feel fueled soulfully by performing their work. Creatives find their happiness in their art, project managers lose track of time while solving problems, and research associates get sucked into interesting articles or books on their topic.

There’s no “total perfect balance” to help you achieve the self-care you need with total high work performance. We all have activities that enrich us, and by focusing on them you’ll have a greater chance of working smart rather than just working hard.

So the next time you’re letting excuses win you over, think about your next pay increase or job change. That will get you up and out of your seat in no time!

The original version of this article was published on the Lea Berry Coaching website.

We are the leaders, activists, innovators, and visionaries – whether in the public eye or behind the scenes – who are revolutionizing the way people think and live. We are #ConnectedWomen.
Join the Connected Women community now, it’s free!

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Life and career coach Lea Berry helps people find their career calling and become successful applicants in the job market. Today, she shares five questions that can help you make the right decision when you’re on the verge of a career or job shift.

I meet a lot of people who reach out to me without knowing what they want to do next. I know this problem all too well. I used to experience the exact same feelings of confusion and frustration. You have the abilities, but where do you want to apply them?

When you have a lot of energy, talent, skills, and education that helped you become a successful and well-rounded professional, deciding what to do next when you stop loving your job is hard work. Once you begin realizing that the job you have is no longer working, you immediately set out to see what else is out there. The options can seem endless. There are positions at your level, one level above, at another company, in another city, the options go on and on!

Social media has helped—and hurt—the job search for those who don’t know what they want next. By sharing connections, LinkedIn has become a powerful connector and reminder of how much we need our network to succeed. It has also hurt us because of how easy it is to share positions that are not being filled internally, and the easy apply buttons across the webpage draw your attention to them.

With so many distractions, taking a step back to figure out what you want is a constant battle. Many coaches would suggest limiting your job search if you don’t know what you want just yet. Create a list of qualifiers or criteria to help you sift through the options and come up with your next move more efficiently.

I know I’ve found myself looking at jobs at NASA. It’s a cool place to work, sure, but I ultimately won’t see my vision come true if I work there. My career is taking me in a different direction.

Now that you have an understanding of what’s causing distractions in your search, there are a couple of timeless questions that I use when I’m feeling unsure of where I want to head next. I’ve modified my original questions to focus on your career, but you can use this for a lot of different decisions in life such as finding a new home!

So, to date, you’ve been focusing on narrowing your job search based on what you don’t like, which, of course, includes a lot of your current responsibilities. If you’re eyeing the door, but unsure what you want to do next, here are a couple of my favorite go-to questions or tips to help you get inspired and choose a new path for yourself.

1. List down your talents/gifts and how you are currently using and sharing them at work and at home. What talents are you not using or expressing? What could you be expressing more of?
2. Create a table with your past positions on the left column and the qualities/contributions that the position had on you and others. Be as specific as possible.
3. What do you enjoy the most about your current job? What do you enjoy the least? Limit the things you dislike to the top three.
4. Do you tend to work solo? Does your work cause you a lot of stress?
5. Put an “X” next to each of the following that you feel you excel in: delegating, writing, evaluating, self-reviewing, public speaking, organizing, supporting others, encouraging, decision-making, motivating, teaching, persuading, negotiating, time management, selling, planning, budgeting, and self-reviewing.

The process of deciding what to do next can feel like it’s taking forever. But in the long run, it’s really not taking up much time at all. Once you align with what feels right for you, you’ll excel at a rapid pace even if there’s a learning curve in the beginning.

Remember that taking the time now to make sure you’re going after the right position is vital. You’re going to spend more time in the next job hating it if it isn’t a good fit. Feel free to modify these questions and accelerate your process if you are in a toxic work environment or on the verge of a professional mutiny. Then be sure to jump!

Have more ideas of what helps you narrow down decisions like this, or do you have a great question that really spoke to you? Share with us in the comments!

The original version of this article was published on the Lea Berry Coaching website.

We are the leaders, activists, innovators, and visionaries – whether in the public eye or behind the scenes – who are revolutionising the way people think and live. We are #ConnectedWomen.
Join the Connected Women community now, it’s free!

The post 5 Questions To Inspire Your Next Career Move appeared first on Connected Women - Entrepreneurs, Freelancers and Professionals..